Coma
by awake to chase a dream
Summary: Dr. Aaron Sidworth welcomes you to West City Hospital, following the cases of Mr Bellamy and Mr Howard, both unconscious, and rooting for their survival. Belldom


I'm glad I became a doctor. I can't begin to tell you how amazing it feels to help so many people every day, to be able to give people a second chance and take the pain away. But... sometimes it's not like that. I'll admit that it's difficult, when people don't make it, or I can't do anything to help.

And then there are times like this. Two men were admitted last night. I say men, but they're barely more than boys. There's an air of uncertaincy, it's hard to determine what will happen to them, and I've not yet been informed of what happend to them. All I know is they're both comatose and there's a chance they won't ever wake up.

I'm Dr. Aaron Sidworth, by the way. I've been at this hospital a year now, and I'd like to think I'm getting pretty good at my job. That's not to say my confidence isn't knocked by even the most common complications, but if I've no faith in myself, what hope do my patients have?

I went to check on the two patients I mentioned before. Matthew Bellamy, 20, two broken ribs, potentially punctured lung, concussion, a broken arm and several cuts and bruises for good measure. He was the lucky one. He got knocked out. Dominic Howard, 21, sustained a couple of head injuries, dislocated shoulder, splintered a bone in his wrist and few other fractures. No, nothing broken, but it's the head injuries that are causing the problem. Despite being in the same accident, there was one major diference between their cases: We're intentionally keeping Mr. Bellamy in a coma, but we can't get Mr. Howard out of his.

Welcome to West City Hospital.

Every once in a while, I get attached to a case. Those two were an example of this instance. I found out what happened to them, to fill in a few gaps on the charts and all that. They were in an old building, very structurally unsound. God knows why they were there, but it started collapsing. They're lucky they got out before the roof fell in, else they'd have been killed without a doubt.

After I'd finished rounds, I went back to check on them. An intern, a girl who I was mentoring, came with me. "How come you're so interested in them?"

I smiled and explained "As a doctor, it's important that you don't get too attached to patients, you don't let your work affect you too much. Yes, you should care, but once you go home at the end of the day, you cannot take the worry with you. But, as a person, sometimes you can't help it."

She frowned "So what makes these guys one of those times?

"One of their friends came to visit them. I spoke to them briefly, found out some background information; knowing that stuff can be important. You get a bit of an understanding about what they're like."

"So it's because they sound like nice guys?"

I laughed gently "Not quite. Remember that you should always try not to bring personal stuff into work... But it's easier said than done. See the dark haired boy, Matthew? He looks so much like my little brother, it's uncanny. My brother, Tyler, was such a great kid... he was so young... I still miss him, even though he died years ago. I suppose that's why it's important to me that Matthew survives. Everytime I look at him, I see my Tyler. I can't watch him die again." I whispered.

My intern looked up at me with sad eyes "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that..."

I smiled and looked to the blonde "His friend told me how he's so loyal, kind and a lot of fun to be around. They said the world needs more guys like him. Clearly, he means a lot to the people who know him. And as I learnt all that about him, I thought of a teacher I used to have. He was always so supportive, always cared. Without him, I wouldn't even be a doctor. So yeah, no matter how professional you try to be, there'll always be a few personal links." I concluded.

She was quiet for a minute before asking another question "Do you think they'll make it?"

"There's a fair chance either way for both of them, it's hard to predict an outcome."

I went home that night, still troubled by my intern's question. Despite the chance they'd both survive, there was a significant chance they wouldn't. The feeling of guilt when a patient dies... regardless of the cause, it's undescribable. I looked over at a photo on the dresser, it's silver frame catching my attention in the dull light. It was an old one, Tyler and me together at a party. I can't remeber what we were celebrating, or even when the picture was taken, but I know we had a good time. That picture had always been there, I don't remember a time it wasn't.

I bit my lip in thought, then sat down with my laptop. It had been a while since I'd heard anything from my old teacher, Mr. Hawkins, but there was no reason I couldn't get in touch with him again. I took his email address from my contact list and started typing. It was just a conventional message really, but it felt good to start talking to him again.

However, I wasn't quite comforted or satisfied by that alone. I sholuldn't be procrastinating. I stood up and grabbed my coat. It was time to do something I should have done long before now.

It was getting dark now, and the roads would normally be busy as everyone returned home. But the route I took was less travelled. Quieter. More peaceful and somewhat eerie. I parked on the kerb and got out, the cold air clinging to me. My footsteps were amplified by the emptiness of the cemetery while I walked past graves to find Tyler.

Eventually I did, and I sat in front of the gravestone. It wasn't the first time I've done this. I just sat still, not talking outloud, but thinking of the conversation we could have been having. He always took an interest in my work at the hospital, that'd be one of the first things he'd ask me.

I ask how he's getting on, I think he'd be well looked after, he often brought out a maternal instinct in the people he met. His face always decieved, making him look a lot younger than he was. It was the innocence in his eyes. I would always be able to recognise that bright blue colour, looking back at me, no doubt laughing about something or, showing his concern as a result of his compassion.

I'd no idea how long I sat there, until I looked up and saw the moon hanging in the sky, a contrast to the inky background. I decided it was best to say goodbye for now, and make the drive back home before I became too tired.

A week after that, when I went into work, I was greeted by my intern.

"Good morning Dr Sidworth." She smiled.

"Aaron, Misha, I'd prefer Aaron."

Misha nodded and followed me on my rounds. I returned to check on Mr Bellamy. Finally, some good news: we were ready to bring him out of his coma.

"We won't wait for his family... Circumstances dictate they won't be here when he wakes up." I grimaced.

"Circumstances?"

I shook my head "Could you find Nurse Pauls, please?" I sent her to fetch the nurse.

A small frown darkened his face, eyes still closed. We monitered his stats as he slowly dragged himself into conciousness. He blinked in the bright light of the room, his blue eyes dazed and confused.

"Mr. Bellamy?" I asked.

He looked around the room, then fear flashed across his face. He jolted to sit up, yelping in pain and dropping back down to his pillow.

"Mr. Bellamy, you'll need to be more careful until those bones are fixed. Careful of your movement, we don't want any lung punctures because you've splintered a rib."

"Where's Dom?" he demanded, still panicking.

I moved to the side, so he could see past, over to where Dom lay.

The pain in his eyes was not physical. But the tears were. Never before had I seen an emotion like that. The fear, pain, anxiety and concern radiated from him in an undescribable way.

It was at that point I wondered about the relationship of the boys.

"What's happened to him? Will he be ok? Is he gonna die?"

"We don't know." I admitted.

"You... don't know?" he questioned in despair.

"Mr. Bellamy, you must calm down, it's not good for you to get worked up."

"How can I be calm? Look at him! He's in a state, and you 'don't know' anything about it?"

"He has been improving. He's stabilised. There's still a good chance he'll wake up."

"Chance?" he snapped "No. He _will _wake up. You don't know him like I do. He's gonna wake up any day now." his argument sounded as if were directed at me. But something told me he was trying to reassure himself.

I have to admit, it was heartbreaking. I watched this young man torture himself by sitting at Dom's bedside and begging for him to wake up. Day after day, until he himself was discharged. But still, he stayed. He would often fall asleep in the chair beside the bed, and whenever he had to leave, he was back within the hour. He was fiercly protective of him around other visitors, and I saw his own health slowly decrease. He was tired, and he had lost weight, even though he was quite skinny to begin with. The only thing to stay strong about him, was his devotion. Such a strong... friendship?

Today I walked in to do my pre-round checks. It didn't surprise me to find Matt there. All the the doctors and nurses on the ward had gotten to know him, and welcomed him, as if he lived here.

But I didn't greet him. He hadn't noticed my entrance. Instead he was speaking in a low desperate voice. Pleading with the blond to finally wake.

"Dom, please. I know you're still in there. I bet you love all the attention you're getting from the nurses, but you've got to wake up now." I could hear a bitter smile in his voice "I'm sorry. I wish I could have done something. I should have just stopped you. I wish we could swap places. You deserve to be up and about more than me. You're actually gonna do something with your life, but what have I got going for me? You're wasting your time in a coma, mate. But it wouldn't make a difference for me."

"If you were still in a coma, and he was conscious, I doubt he'd spend much time out of the hospital either." I spoke gently.

He sniffed and shrugged. "Anything changed?"

"You'll be the first to know." I promised. "I understand how much pain this is causing you, but look at the positives. He's stable. He's not getting better, but he's not getting worse."

He sighed. "Please... tell me he'll wake up. Just tell me." he spoke now with broken desperation.

It pained me that I couldn't make that promise, when it was all he really needed "Nothing is for certain."

He turned from me and sat beside Dom again. He reached and took his hand.

"Um, Mr Bellamy. What exactly is your relation to Mr Howard? Are you his next of kin?" there should probably be a form with this on.

"Er... no, I don't think so. That's probably his parents or whatever. Like they even care." he scowled. Family disagreements, get 'em all the time. "I'm his boyfriend. I guess it's my fault he's in here."

"Your fault?" I know how people can take the blame if they feel guilty, but it's rarely their fault.

"His parents... they weren't exactly happy to catch us together" his face flushed at the memory "He got grounded. And he was banned from seeing me. But he didn't want that, so he went out anyways. He said he wanted to go somewhere just us two, where no one would bother us and we didn't have to be so paranoid about his parents seeing us. There's this old house, apparently it was pretty derelict, but it seemed fine on the outside."

Ah, I see where this is going.

"There was a sign on the fence. Several signs. And tape. It was obvious that we shouldn't go in there, and I told him it was a bad idea. But... he said he loved me, and he just wanted to be with me for a little while before he had to go back for an argument with his family. I don't know why he didn't just move in with me anyway. I follow him in, 'cos y'know, he said he loved me and I was a bit scattered after that. We get to the second floor of the building and everything's fine until some electric shit blows up randomly, brings a massive light fitting down and the floor caves in."

"That's not your fault. It was irresponsible, but you're not to blame." I squeezed his shoulder.

"Thanks, Doc. You've really done a good job. For both of us."

"I'm not done yet. I won't give up on him you know."

"I didn't get to tell him..." he muttered.

"Tell him?"

He shook his head.

"Matthew, go home. Get some rest, and I promise I'll keep an eye on him. He's well looked after here, and you need to look after yourself too. If anything changes, you'll know within minutes."

"Didn't even say it..." He stood and left. I knew for certain that there was more to that story than he told me.

I noticed Matt was here less after that. He still came in everyday, but I sometimes heard him cursing himself and I knew he was feeling guilty when he told me he didn't deserve Dom.

It was nearing the end of the month, and a nurse handed me a clip board. I looked over the medical chart and smiled. Finally, some good news.

A quick search on the database gave me Matt's number, and I dialled the call to fulfill my promise.

"_Hello?"_

"Hello Matthew, it's Dr. Sidworth."

_"What's happened? Is Dom alright?"_

"I'd say more than alright, I think we can wake him up today."

_"Oh. Okay then. I'll be there soon, I was going anyway."_

Strange, I would have expected him to sound happier than that. But I heard a few sniffles from the other end, and wondered if he was crying. "And how are you, Matthew?"

_"Uh... Fine I suppose, thanks."_

"Hm. If you're sure. I'll see you later."

_"Thanks, Doctor."_ he hung up.

I checked Dom's IV drip, his heart moniter and medication record, and the nurses left. I hadn't known Matt was behind me until I heard their greeting. I turned to look at him, his eyes were a little red and his cheeks blotchy. As I suspected, he had been crying again.

"Matthew, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. I just haven't slept well."

Nightmares? I looked at him, questioning him silently.

"Yeah, a few nightmares." his eyes watered. "But it should- it should be ok now, 'cos I'll have him back."

I put my arm around him as he sobbed silently into my white lab coat. It was so hard to see him like this, and I had to remind myself that this was not Tyler.

Soon, I sat him down in the chair beside the bed. I would be back after I had lead the interns in rounds.

When I returned, he had stopped crying. All he did now was watch Dom. I knew that face. "What's bothering you Matthew?"

"Can he hear me?"

"I don't know."

"Is he in pain?"

"No."

"When will he wake up?"

"Today. Soon, hopefully, although I've no way to tell what time."

"I made such a stupid mistake, doctor. So simple... And all this time, I've needed to fix it, that even if he were only to wake for a few seconds, it'd would be better than what I did."

"What have you done?"

And I finally get the whole story.

_Dom slipped out the back gate, smiling when he saw Matt. "Hello gorgeous, missed me?"_

_Matt smiled and blushed "Of course I have."_

_"Let's go then."_

_"But... what if you get in trouble?"_

_He leaned down to kiss him "It'll be worth it, babe. Come on, all I want is to spend a bit of time alone with you, without anyone walking in or disturbing us. That isn't so bad, is it?"_

_"No, you're right." he took his hand "Where to then?"_

_"Follow me." he smiled and started walking._

_Opposite Matt's flat was an old house. It was 3 stories high, and the dark clouds in the background made it an appropriate setting for a ghost story. It's gothic architecture was intact, but the warning signs and restrictive tape signalled that it was far from structurally sound. Dom ducked between a gap in the high iron fence and looked behind him at Matt. "You just gonna stand there?"_

_Matt climbed through to the other side, tripping then being caught in Dom's arms. "I'm not sure about this, Dom. It doesn't look very safe. God knows what it's like inside."_

_"Aw, don't worry your pretty little head, I'll protect you from the spiders."he smirked. "Matt, it's fine. It's a house, it can take us."_

_But he still wasn't convinced._

_"Stop being so cautious! Look, all I want to do is stay with you for just a little while. I don't want people interfering, trying to keep us apart or interupting anything. I just want you."_

_Matt looked up at the house. It must be closed off for a reason... But Dom tilted his chin up so they were looking straight at each other. He placed a gentle kiss on his lips "I want to spend time with you properly. I love you Matt."_

_He smiled and kissed him back, then found he was being towed towards the house anyway._

_"See, it's fine." Dom looked around the dusty room. Nothing was there, no furnishings at all. "Let's look upstairs." he started towards the stairs._

_Worried to let him go alone, Matt quickly followed. _

_Thunder rumbled outside and Dom stood at the window, looking out at the street. "Hey, I can see your bedroom from here."_

_"I don't know why you won't come and live with me."_

_"I'd like to. But every time I bring it up, my mom guilt trips me."_

_"But why won't she let you do what you want, if she wants you to be happy there? You haven't done anything wrong."_

_"I have in her eyes."_

_"So that's it? You're not allowed to see me?"_

_"That won't stop me. You know it won't." he pulled him close and kissed him. They stayed like that for a few minutes, but before it went any further, he stopped. "You never said it back before." he whispered._

_"Sorry?" Matt frowned._

_Dom walked away into the middle of the room. "I said I loved you, but you never said anything back."_

_"Oh, I-"_

_"I love you. Do you love me, Matthew?"_

_The howling wind seemed silenced for a moment while lightning flashed in the sky. The loud crackling sound of electrics blowing ripped through the tension. Then a horrible creaking, snapping sound. Both looked up at the ceiling just in time to see the heavy chandelier plummet throught the floorboards, bringing the room in on itself._

I was shocked into silence for a few seconds. "Hang on, how did anyone know you'd be there?"

Matt shook his head. "I've been thinking about that. I've no idea, but I'm sure as hell glad someone did make the call, else we'd be screwed."

I thought for a moment "That old house... it's not the one on Upper Marsden Street, is it?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

A lump formed in my throat. It seems now I have my own story to tell.

_On a summer's evening, Aaron followed Tyler back to where they'd spent so much of their childhood._

_"Tyler, when are you gonna grow up?" he laughed._

_"Never!" he cheered, hauling himself up onto the first branch of a tall tree that stood close to the old Holloway's house. "Come on, bro. I'm only 19 and you've got me thinking about pension plans and all the boring stuff."_

_"Because you're an adult now."_

_"No, I'm not. Now shut up and climb the tree with me!"_

_"You're gonna fall." he fretted._

_"If you're so worried, come with me." he challenged._

_So both men climbed the tree to around three quarters up._

_"Hey, remember this?" Tyler pointed to their two names that had been carved into the bark when they were 10 and 14. "I was wondering if it would still be here."_

_"Oh yeah. Man, that was a fun day." he smiled at the memory._

_"Love ya, big brother."_

_"Right back at you, kiddo."_

_They climbed down and started walking back towards the car. "I'm driving!" Tyler nicked the keys and ran off to the road._

_"Oi! Come back with those!" Aaron laughed, running after him._

_"Want them? You'll have to catch me first!" he laughed, taking a step back into the road._

_Then headlights turned a corner. They both saw the car, but it was too late. The brakes screeched, but there was nothing anyone could do now, as Tyler lay on the tarmac, the last grin still resting on his face._

As a doctor, I've always had a cold, hard faith in medicine and science. But I know who made that call. "Y'know, Matthew, you remind me a lot of someone I know."

We waited the whole day, and I was starting to worry that Dom wouldn't wake up after all.

But Matt didn't seem concerned. "Lazy bastard. He's always slept in a little longer than he should do."

I smiled and looked at my watch. It was getting to 8pm now.

"Nearly hometime?"

"Hometime? This is voluntary overtime." I laughed.

"Oh. Sorry. You must be so bored. You don't have to stay-"

"It's fine, I assure you." I really didn't mind still being here.

We talked for a while, and I asked what would happen once Dom was discharged.

"Hmm. I'm not sure. But I really wish he'd come and live with me and my flatmate, Chris. I could look after him way better than his parents. Bet he'd have me as a servant, make a load of demands."

"Ah, is that what he's like?"

"No, not at all. But I can imagine him taking advantage of the situation, being the optimist he is." he smiled fondly. "Even if he was way too demanding, I'd still want to be there for him. He means so much to me, I don't know what I'd do if I lost him."

I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to notice.

"What?"

I looked at Dom and smiled. He looked too and his face lit up "Dom!"

"Hello, Mr Howard, how are you feeling."

He looked at Matt with tired but happy eyes. "I'm feeling good." he squeezed Matt's hand "Hello gorgeous, missed me?"

"Oh God, I've missed you so much. I've been so worried about you."

I thought it time to leave them for now "We'll have to run a few more tests in the morning, and keep you under observation for a while, but I'll leave you for now. There'll be doctors on call if you should need anything. I'm sure Matt will be able to keep an eye on you."

"Thank you, Doctor." he smiled.

I turned to leave, and just before I closed the door, I heard Matt speak gently to him. "I love you, Dominic. Don't you ever scare me like that again."

"I love you too, and I'm not going anywhere now."

Just over a week later, both Matt and Dom were ready to go home. After a few altercations with the Howard family, it was clear that Dom's home would be with Matt.

"Hey, it's not too late, is it? I can still do something with my life, right?" Matt asked me, while Dom was being instructed on use of his painkillers.

_Aaron found his little brother frowning at a book. "What's the matter, Tyler?"_

_"There's a science fair. And I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what. It's too late now." his face showed true disappointment and regret._

_"Hey, it's never too late. When is it?"_

_"Tomorrow."_

_So the boys stayed up late, Tyler eventually falling asleep whilst Aaron continued the overnight science project. And in the morning, tyler woke up to find his big brother passed out next to a model of the solar system._

_He got top marks for that project, and he learnt a valuable lesson:_

"It's never too late, and there'll always be someone there to help you through when it seems impossible." I told him.

"That's good, 'cos I think I want to be a doctor now."

"And an excellent one you'll make."

"Thank you. Thanks for everything."

"It's been my pleasure." I watched as he walked out of the hospital with Dom. This wouldn't be the last time I'd see that man, I knew. And as he disappeared from sight, I thought to myself, with tears in my eyes. _**Don't thank me, thank Tyler.**_


End file.
